FANDOM



For a game that offers a senior citizen's discount, there is a lack of jailbait

Transcript Edit

INTRO

BRO TEAM! I'm SICK of it!

TITLE

Star Wars the Old Republican

REVIEW

(BRO)

*Generic beat starts* Yeah, let's do this- NO.

Nope, don't care. Hexagon army.

You can only be a wizard of a tax collector. Human, yes. Male, yes. Humans make the best males. 

JUST START. NO. NO! GOOD.

Think after a game has been out for so long they'd get rid of SHIT like this.

Okay let's go. Okay got it, he's going to meet the evil bounty hunters. Cool. And these guys are ruthless as FUCK.

(GAME)

Sure thing Braden.

(BRO)

COOL. Oh yeah this is fun. This is the hero's journey, come to life.

Okay, new character. Girl's in this aren't allowed to be FAT. Thank fuck. Let the WOMyn drive right away, that's a great idea. Run free you African. COOL, time to spend all day on the phone, and hang out at the mall, pine over the children you'll never have, do whatever you can for attention.

Okay back to this dumb quiff. STILL SUSPENDED, IN A GHOST JAIL. Fuck.

Okay, do the other one. Do the other one.

Cool. Cool. COOL. COOL.

OKAY BACK TO THIS FUCKIN' GUY.

(GAME)

You look pretty tough

(BRO)

Can't see fuckin' shit with the blast shield down.

You can murder anyone you want in fuckin' the streets. Is this science fiction or is this every city in North America?

This guy wants his asshole excavated as deep as he can go.

(GAME)

You're gonna get to know my fist real well.

Credits are credits.

(BRO)

Oh yeah, can't go in there. I just paid for this game. Can't just do whatever I want. Chicks in this will do anything for some wise dick. 

(GAME)

You're just the kind of person who can help me

What's in it for me?

My son.

Deal

Good.

(BRO)

SCORE.

In this game a real man knows how to drink a dick.

(GAME)

I'm a man, you wanna test me on it?

(BRO)

That's what I thought!

BEEeeEE-oooo-ooop

As a real man, you got real quests. You fill out the forms, investigate the honeycombs, try to stop the skull kid.

And stil, some people don't fuckin' get it.

(GAME)

If you want to live, do exactly what I say.

Wait.

(BRO)

I don't remember saying "Say 'wait' and then get shot".

(GAME)

One day, you'll thank me for this.

(BRO)

My Ponos is for hire too.

(GAME)

You can trash Fa'tahra's hole.

If you pay me right, I could be very bad.

You got yourself a deal.

(BRO)

The DLC unlocks all the cusswords. Until then: 

(GAME)

I'm going to *blast* them.

I'm going to take my *blast* and

I hope you had to *blast* a lot of *blast* to get this

I enjoyed every minute of it.

OUTRO

(BRO)

Evaluating the Old Republc is difficult. It's like comparing oranges, to withered CUNTS. The Old Republic must look like a handsome shit to people who don't know a lot about things. But still, Billy Joel's best record was The Strangers. Too bad he can't drive for SHIT. BRO TEAM!

(GAME)

Even in childhood, you had a remarkable *WHOA*

Trivia and Other Knowledges Edit

  • The secret to blowjobs is in foreplay. This also applies to sex. So it's your own fault for getting third degree friction burns on you dick when you shoved it in at the funeral.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.