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Garshasp (The Monster Slayer) was the first Bro Team video and remains a lasting fan-favorite. In it, we all learned about Persian history and culture, about totally original game design, and ourselves.


Then, of course, we forgot all of that when we found the Mace of Trit.

TranscriptEdit

  INTRO

BRO TEAM! That's a roofie pill.

TITLE

Garshaaaaaaasp! The Fucking Monster Slayer.

REVIEW

(BRO)

We meet our handsome hero, he's got to defeat this fucking monster with horns. This guy killed his fucking son, something like that earlier on. He's got superhuman strength, he's got his superhuman speed, he's got a long fucking asshole, he can collect all the fucking blue orbs he wants. He can run across the bridge, he goes down this wall with the knife. Don't touch the fucking light though, obviously, it's going to hurt you. Fucking Garshasp can do it.

They don't fuck around in this game, right away they start off with some impossible combat. Try to take on all these fucking guys if you can, Gashasp can do that shit. There's tons of fucking enemies, nearly impossible to beat up all these fucking guys, only a man like Garshasp could even fucking dream of doing this shit. Better mix up your combat or they're going to adapt to your shit.

(GAME)

The Mace of Trit.

(BRO)

Oh, here he is again, bet you thought that's the villain, it's not! Try to pull off this fucking combo if you can. Garshasp can fucking do it, see? He's fucking dead!


(GAME)

The Mace of Trit.

(BRO)

It's got some ridiculous chases. You'll be overwhelmed with fucking enemies. Try to solve all these fucking ingenious puzzles. It's got some incredible fucking story telling.

(GAME)

Their tree house of Ariasp lost it's shining white glow. When the Deives came, Garshasp began to rot.

(BRO)

It's got some challenging shit, see he's dead! Try that shit again, no you're fucking dead. Try to figure out how to do the fucking raft. Do you press the button, do you hold it down, no you keep slapping the button while these guys try to fuck your shit up. This guy'll try to distract you, crafty fuck. Not today fucker, get off my friggin' thing. Try to sink your fucking raft, get the fuck off. Gasharp isn't waiting for your fucking shit.

Some sorceror follows Geralt around, puts up invisible walls, tries to block him from getting the fucking gold. All kinds of mystery and suspense, you see the wall, you hear the monster, what the fuck is going to happen here? Now try to take on this impossible boss. Oh, and achievements? They make you earn every fucking one.  You don't just get them for things you were going to do anyway in this game, THEY MAKE YOU EARN EVERY ONE OF THESE AND THEY'RE NOT GOING TO HAND YOU SHIT!

OUTRO

This game is fucking sweet! Garshasp! I rate it a cool out of yes. Play the fucking game! BRO TEAM!

Trivia and Other KnowledgesEdit

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